Hohoemikakeru
by Shinnite
Summary: The title means "To Smile" - A oneshot from Duo's p.o.v. on why he always smiles


Hohoemikakeru

("To Smile")

          I never knew my father - he died when I was very young, leaving my mother with the task of providing for both her and myself.  But she was tough and managed to make sure that there was clothing on our backs and food on our table - well, as far as I can remember, anyway.

          In my earliest memories - all of them fuzzy and indistinct - my mother cried a lot, still grieving over my father.  But she always tried, I think, to keep me from seeing.  My mother was far from perfect, she drank and often brought strange guys home, but then again, nobody's perfect. After all, Relena-hime obsesses over a guy that has repeatedly threatened to kill her.  Of course, I'm friends with that same guy - and he tried to kill me too.  Go figure.

          But despite all the pain, what I remember the most was my mother's smile.  From the few memories I have remaining my mother always tried to smile when she saw me.  And I always smiled back - my mother's happiness was my happiness.  Sometimes she would laugh - though I only remember once - but it always sounded empty and hallow.  False.  Not so with her smile.

          One of my two clearest memories - all the others I remember with the clarity of a fuzzy television - was also the one thing with the greatest impact on my life.  We were enjoying a visit in the park - my mother loved trees and we were lucky enough to live in a colony with a park.

          I was sitting drowsily on my mother's lap as we both watched the other children leaping about on the playground.  I was especially watching the kid playing in the sandbox that I had evacuated a few minutes prior - that was **_my_** yellow bucket, dammit!  It was mine and he had the nerve to use it, filling it up with sand and dumping his load on his already -

          I'm getting off track here.  Anyway, I was on my mother's lap, ready to fall asleep when she finally spoke up. _'Son,'_ she had said, _'would you promise me something?'_  I had looked at her then, curiosity overcoming my grumpiness about being kept from my nap.

          _'Hai?'_  I had asked.

          _'Always smile.'_ She stated, smiling for emphasis.  _'The world will seem like a sad place at times.  I won't lie to you and tell you that it is always a happy place – you're too smart for that._

_          You'll be hurt, scared and angry at times and I won't always be around to help you.  So I want you to smile whenever you're sad, whenever the situation seems hopeless, and I want you to remember that bad experiences will eventually stop.  So please, smile during the rain and greet the sun with a light heart.'_

_          'Hai!  I promise, 'kaa-san!'_  I had smiled then to prove my willingness to keep her promise.  But my resolve had been tested only a couple of weeks later.  I came home from school with a big smile on my face, but when I arrived the door was ajar.

          Curious, I had walked in – not knowing better – and saw something that was burned in my mind – something I could _never_ forget.  My mother laid there, a blood-red blossom surrounding the hole in her back where she had been shot.  Blood was still spreading around her and her violet eyes were wide open, dull and unfocused.  One hand clutched the phone and a man's voice was yelling on the other end – she had been calling the police when it happened.  Apparently, one of my mother's clients had been unsatisfied with her 'services' – I'm still not quite sure what she did – and so he had killed her.

          But I kept my promise.  Crouching at my mother's head, I closed her eyes with one hand and smiled.  Yeah, it was a sad smile but it was a _smile_ dammit!

          _'Oyasumi, 'kaa-san,'_ I had whispered before standing up and leaving – I had never looked back.  I don't know what happened between then and when I had awoken with amnesia.  I'm just lucky enough to have these few memories that I _do_ have.

          But I do know one thing.  Even if I get amnesia (again).  Even if I live long enough to consider Hero threatening to kill someone with his cane as exciting, I'll still remember my mother's words.

          And I'll always smile.

Author's Notes ~ 

   Japanese Terms:

Hai = yes 'kaa-san = mother Oyasumi (nasai) = (good) night -hime = princess 

Well, my first GW 'fic! I seem to be having a lot of firsts this month.  I'm a bit worried, though, that Duo was OOC in this piece but I'm not sure. I still liked how it turned out.

I hadn't _meant_ for it to be this long – and I hadn't meant to add Duo's memories of his mother.  After all, he's not supposed to have any.

To be honest, the idea for this fic came during my shower .  So there I was, dripping wet in my pjs, writing the beginning to this fic (the rest I had to write the next day).  Why can't my muse _ever_ strike when I have paper and pencil nearby?

Standard disclaimers apply, blah blah blah, and you can C&C at silverwave_torrent@hotmail.com - or you can tell me directly on AIM ( I happen to go under the name lady shinnite).

Ja ne! ~Shinnite


End file.
